Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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