Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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