Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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