you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
