Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
