I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
