I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
