Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
