three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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