Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
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im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
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For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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