It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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