I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
