If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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