You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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