So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
