That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
