just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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