Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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