After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
