so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
