I love having hate sex.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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