do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
