I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
