I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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