Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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