I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
