Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize