I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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