forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.