Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?