My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
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Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
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In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.