Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.