I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.