Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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