some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
