I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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