I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize