that's an acceptable place to lick
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
