i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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