YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
