For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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