Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
FUCK WHALES
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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