Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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