my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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