Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
