i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
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Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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