There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize