I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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