Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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