I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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