Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
