I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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