I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
