Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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