watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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