I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
