Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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