I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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