You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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