I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You smell like stripper and shame
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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