I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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