Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just gift wrapped bread.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
