i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
