There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
