Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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