Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize