I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
this will be a night to untag.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
