omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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