We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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