you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
