I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
