im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
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Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
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No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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