I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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