I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
