did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
