Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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