is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
