Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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