I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
